3.12.11

PMS Survival Tips, For Men.

FYI, PMS does exist.

P: Pre. M: Menstrual. S: Syndrome.
Days/Weeks before menstrual periods begin.

Also,
Part Monster Syndrome.
Pity Me Syndrome
Pain and Murder Syndrome

Basically, it is men's worst nightmare.


"The worst time to be around a woman, because she becomes an irrational psycho bitch which froths at the mouth with rage and seeks to destroy anything which stands in her way." 
Urban Dictionary

Different girls experience different stage and kinds of PMS. One friend of mine will get this super nausea and anxiety and will throw up a lot. 

Me?
I am major emotional breakdowns.
Like, real bad. 
Oh my, it's like being possessed. And knowing the fact that I know what is causing it but I just can't stop the craziness. 


Common syndromes are like:
Very depressed mood, feeling hopeless (Me! Me!)
Marked anxiety, tension and edginess
Sudden mood shifts; Cry easily and Extreme sensitivity (Me! Me!)
Anger, Increased conflicts (Me! Me!)
Loss of interest in usual activities
Difficulty concentrating and staying focus (Me! Me!)
Fatigue, tiredness, loss of energy
Overeating, food cravings, appetite change (Me! Me!)
Insomnia, or sleeping too much (I have both, weird)
Feeling out of control, overwhelmed
Physical symptoms; weight gain, bloating (Me!), headache, breast swelling, muscle and joint pains


Guys, 
You really need to understand us ladies, at this time of the month. Because, we really can't do anything about it. You being mad and angry about this (when we become angry without any rational reasons) will make us feel more angrier then we already are. 
So, I am gonna help you to help us! 
Please do as I say, so we can make this world a better place.

1.
Nothing you do will make us happy and nothing you say will appease us. 
Don't ever try it. 

2. 
Do not try to reason with us. 
We do not see ourselves as being irrational, but as we see you as an idiot and we will tell you so. Then we will tell all our girlfriends you're an idiot, and they will agree with us.
(They understand, dorang layankan je)

3.
Do not try to correct us for any reason during this time. 
The reason for this is because we do not think we're wrong, but we do think you're an idiot.

4. 
Do not try to convince us that you are sympathising with our situation. 
You don't know, we know you don't know, and any attempt to convince us otherwise will make us feel even mad!

5.
If you are hungry, cook your own food. 


6. 
If you value you life and your personal possessions,
pick up after yourself.

7.
Do not be fooled by what appears to be a good mood, this can and does change unexpectedly.
And we do not feel the need to notify you of said changes. 
Be aware.

8.
If we become upset, irritated or emotional for whatever reason, do not tell us to calm down. By now, you should know what will happen. 

9.
Do not try to run away from us at these times too. Do not act like you do not care and shove off when we are 'demon'-ing with you. 

10.
The best bet is to remain motionless as possible so you do not attract attention to yourself. 

Mampu?
Ala, seminggu je.

Good luck!


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